WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME to the Third ever Handjob Humper!
So no shit...there I was...perusing Facebook on the Company Dime. When what do my wandering eyes should appear? But a Glorious Camel Tow, talking about Safari. “Let’s face it,” says Camel, “Seeing a camel toe in leopard print tights at Walmart is probably the closest any of us will ever get to going on an African Safari.”
“If you show up to the next Humper in Leopard print tights, I’ll start it at Walmart,” Father Humper replies! The deal was sealed, and the rest, as they say, is history.
Well, after looking far and wide, there just aren’t many good hash routes or decent bars near Walmarts in the Lehigh Valley, so in order to pull off this glorious agreement we must venture to the deep deep south…of Quakertown. Admittedly, McCoole’s isn’t a Walmart, but it is <.5 mi away from one, so hopefully whichever unlucky bastard…er, I mean, lucky hasher….draws the short straw, maybe they’d be so kind to bring us near there so we can have our own Safari.
As always, times are as follows:
• 6pm Hash Standard Time: Meetup
• 615: Hare(s) out
• 630: Pack out
NOTE: If you’re not a virgin, you’re drawing straws! Straw-draw humpers only work if everyone participates. If you’re still new-ish and nervous about haring, if you draw the short straw we’ll make sure we pair you up with somebody who’s been around for a while. Old-timers – no bitching out!