LVH3 Trail #273 Hot & Wet (06/03/2017)

This day had a few surprises.  It started out with a naked SCRATCH & STIFF providing directions to the circle location from the parking location.  And when I say naked, I mean NAKED.  For anyone that knows SCRATCHY, it’s usual to see his bald cranium with smiling face framed with a shit ton of hair.  But there he was…  NAKED.  No facial hair.  At all.  None.  He was barely recognizable unless you heard his boisterous laugh or saw his kilt.  That was just the first surprise.

Second surprise was how small the pack was.  Roughly a dozen people.  Of course, size doesn’t matter, it’s what you do with it.  The little pack circled up and sent the hares, RED COCK DOWN and ERECT DICK MAKER, on their way.  We welcummed our visitors, WHERE’S MY D and SEAMAN ON THE POOP DECK.  No, CAUSE FOR BLINDNESS and CHASEZ BOYZ, you’re not visitors anymore.  We love you long time already.

And the pack was out.  On on!  We emerged from our secluded, wooded circle location to follow marks through a sunny, grassy field.  Anyone like myself with an active paranoia for ticks was already starting to feel twitchy.

We emerged on to a road to pound the pavement through more marks.  At some point, GLORY HOLE and PORK PULLER appeared on trail promptly on Freddie Standard Time.  Coincidentally, this was just in time for a back check and for the pack to go trekking through a wilderness of shiggy flanking a residential area.  Some of the marks conveniently followed the deer paths so we were prime targets for the deer ticks waiting to devour us and turn our insides to mush like inside out zombies.  Wait, don’t regular zombies turn your insides to mush?  No, regular zombie turn your brain to mush.  Deer ticks turn your muscles and such to mush but your brain is fine.  But I digress…  (I mentioned the active paranoia.)

Finally we came to a water cross.  Time to get all this hotness wet!  We crossed the river and emerged on the other side to a soccer field.  We gave the field a good rim job looking for marks.  And looking.  And looking.  Finally marks were found and the pack was on on.

There was a beer near on a cliff overlooking a frisbee golf course.  Interesting proposition to tempt hashers on a cliff with beer.  Or just hashers on a cliff in general.  This became story time.  Everyone got to hear about GOES DOWN ON THE REBOUNDS’ new favorite cock shirt.  This was also where ILLEGAL DISCHARGE’s GHETTO INFERNO tracker was buzzing.  GHETTO joined the pack as we continued on on.

This was another surprise.  Not all hot and wet’s have floats.  I thought there was always floating.  Nope.  Sometimes, like after we found our way around the soccer field and along some paths and made our way back into the river, we followed marks up stream.  But we didn’t cross streams.  Along the way, trail treasure was found.  There were frisbees multiplying as hashers tossed them to and fro.  Somewhere along the way there was a shot check and lost trail treasure. Easy cum, easy go.

At some point we left the river and followed marks through a residential area. Leave it SEX-A-SKETCH to drop his beer right in front of the police car. I’m not sure which is a worse infraction – alcohol abuse or bating a cop.  Hmm…

The next beer near was among a vintage pavilion lovingly tagged with names of delinquents long gone. But not just any delinquents. Hashy delinquents. Namely, the infamous SEX TONIGHT…DENIED.  We’ll give him and honorary trail pass.  After he pack added their names to the leva y and commemorated the experience, they were on on.

Back into the water and down the river. As we closed in on the on in, PACKS EM IN THE REAR caught the hares! They tried to end trail abruptly but caught is caught.

As the rest of the pack rolled in, JUST REENA waited until just before arriving to closing circle for a hash crash into the river.

All in all, a hot and wet time was had by all.

Until next time,
Snatch out

Posted in Hash Trash.

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