LVH3 Trail #266: First third Saturday of 2017 was also our AGM trail. This A to B started at a familiar location, The Coloring Wheel. As hashers filed in, it was sure to be an interesting time. Don’t ask how many people were there because counting was too much adulating for this crowd. The best we could do was two virgins! One for each fist.
Once circle began, our ever enthusiastic RA, RUBBER RIPPER, got
interesting with his penis poker as he gave us our chalk talk on a chalk board of all places. We all learned something new when we were warned that if we couldn’t follow the marks, to follow our penis pokers and f*ck tunnels. There was nothing more to say after that. And the pack was out…
The hares, RED COCK DOWN, THREEWAY RUNAWAY and RUBBER RIPPER led us a few blocks around a park with a creepy dude in a van handing out pudding shots. The people passing by did double takes as people yelled “SEX”(A-SKETCH) as they approached, but fortunately no one was arrested. At least we haven’t gotten any bail requests yet so he must have been legit. On-On!
From there the FRBs were long gone and doing a shitty job marking checks leaving a great divide between them and the pack of DFLs. I can’t tell you where the FRBs and true trail went because I was lost in the DFL pack with the virgins. Fortunately the DFLs didn’t wander the streets of Bethlehem long since DON’T STOP ME HEAVIN’ knew his house was a stop. The DFLs rolled in to a horse meat mash of DICKICLE, STATUTE OF LICKITATIONS, CHASES BOYZ and SCRATCH N STIFF. We didn’t ask and it’s safer if you don’t either.
Also among the debauchery was a three way RED (cock down) – ERECT DICK (maker) – (liquor) BOX supervised by GOES DOWN ON THE REBOUND. And no beer near at ME HEAVIN’s is ever complete without defiling his basement. What happens in the basement, stays in the basement. On-On!
More streets of Bethlehem with some checks and turns and off to TWAT SQUAT’s we go for the third stop. While the pack refreshed, everyone received a surprise BORING HAND JOB as he appeared on trail late but not pregnant. We think…
Anticipation was building like a ball drop as EDM and ILLEGAL DISCHARGE were tracking GHETTO INFERNO’s steps and counting down the seconds to her arrival. There was much rejoicing and a huge release painting half the pack, including JUST RENNA, with the prize. Relaxed, reloaded and On-On!
JUST RENNA ratted on JUST CHRIS for wearing new shoes on trail so he spent the rest of the night with his foot in the wet spot. The horse on trail (alternately known as JUST MIKE and SNATCH AVENGER had to drink for wearing skirts instead of kilts on trail.
And what circle would be complete without a caber shot for our hares and incoming General Manager. If you haven’t seen the caber shot, you’ll just have to get off your ass and come to a trail to see for yourself.
May the Hash go in peace…. (off to the meeting.)
This how the Annual General Meeting began….
There was much eating, much drinking, and exchanges of money for goods and services. Aside from annual awards and anointment of the 2017 Mis-Management, the most notable trash was JUST MIKE being rebirthed as AARP (AGING ADULTS REQUIRE PENETRATION).